we create culture by seeing each other

we talk about culture as though it is something that exists around us, something created by institutions, traditions, communities or the world we were born into.

but culture is also being created every day, in the smallest interactions between people.

a smile at a stranger. saying hello to the person you pass every morning. asking someone how they are and listening to the answer.

remembering someone’s name. acknowledging the person serving your coffee, cleaning your building, driving your taxi or sitting beside you.

these things can seem insignificant.

they aren’t.

human beings are wired for connection. we need to feel that we belong somewhere, that we are seen and that our presence registers with other people. when we acknowledge one another, we create moments of belonging. and those moments accumulate.

witnessing is different from simply being around people

we can be surrounded by people all day and still feel completely disconnected.

we scroll past hundreds of faces. we walk through crowded streets. we sit in restaurants, offices, airports and waiting rooms physically close to other human being while remaining completely separate from them.

being near people isn’t the same as being connected to them.

connection requires more attention.

it requires witnessing.

to witness someone is simply to notice that they are there.

noticing when someone is having a difficult time day. celebrating someone’s good news. listening when someone needs to talk. giving someone your full attention instead of waiting to respond.

it doesn’t mean taking responsibility for everyone around you. it means allowing people to be human.

acknowledgement changes the space between us

think about what happens when you walk into a room and nobody acknowledges you.

now think about the opposite.

someone looks up. they smile. they say your name.

nothing dramatic happened, but the entire experience changed.

you went from being invisible to being included. this is how culture is built.

not only through big conversations about community, kindness or belonging, but through the thousands of tiny signals that communicate:

I see you. you matter. you are part of the whole.

when enough people communicate that to one another, something changes in the collective environment.

there is more trust. more ease. more flow. more coherence.

coherence doesn’t mean everyone agrees

a coherent culture isn’t a culture where everyone thinks the same way.

we don’t need to agree with one another to acknowledge one another. in fact, social connection becomes even more important when we disagree.

we can remember underneath our opinions and differences, there is another human being trying to navigate their life just as we are.

and when someone is struggling, you don’t need to fix it, witnessing is enough.

sometimes the most human thing we can say is: I see you. I’m here.