some of us have a habit of seeing the good in people. not just what is right in front of us, but what else might be there. we see their potential, their strengths, their kindness, and sometimes even the possibilities they haven’t recognised in themselves yet.
it’s a lovely way to move through life. but it can also become exhausting if we aren’t careful.
because when you see what someone is capable of, it’s easy to want to help them get there. you offer suggestions, share what you’ve learned, encourage them to look at things differently or point out another way of doing something.
and sometimes they listen. sometimes they don’t.
sometimes they keep doing exactly what they’ve always done.
that’s where we have to remind ourselves of something pretty simple.
it’s not our life.
we all have our own way of figuring things out. we make decisions based on where we are, what we’ve experienced, what we believe and what we’re ready for. sometimes we make good choices. sometimes we make a mess of things. that’s part of being human.
just because we can see another possibility doesn’t mean someone else is ready to see it. and just because we wouldn’t make the same choice doesn’t mean we need to spend our energy trying to change theirs.
there is a difference between caring about someone and taking responsibility for their direction.
we can be supportive without becoming involved in every decision. we can offer an opinion without needing it to be followed. we can see someone’s potential without feeling responsible for whether they ever do anything with it.
this also means learning when to stop talking.
not every situation needs our input. not every problem needs our solution. sometimes people just need to work things out in their own time, even when we think there is a much easier way.
and honestly, constantly worrying about someone else’s choices takes us away from our own lives.
we have our own things to tend to. our own relationships, our own health, our own homes, our own work and our own growth. there is plenty right in front of us that deserves our attention.
think of a garden. you can prepare the soil, provide water and make sure there is enough sunlight. but you can’t pull on a plant to make it grow faster. it grows in its own time, in its own way.
people are much the same.
so keep seeing the good in others. keep recognising their potential. keep being encouraging and kind.
but don’t make their choices your responsibility.
you can love someone and disagree with them. you can believe in someone and recognise that they aren’t ready to make changes. you can wish someone well without following them into every situation.
and you can step back without closing your heart.
there is a lot of freedom in allowing people to live their own lives while remembering to live yours.
after all, we are all here figuring things out. we don’t need to figure each other out as well.
