let people be who they are

one of the hardest things to learn is that you can’t make people see what you see.

you can explain it ten different ways. you can give advice. you can point out the pattern. you can tell them what you think.

and they still won’t hear you.

that’s where leaving people in their dignity comes in.

it means letting someone make their own choices. it doesn’t mean you agree with them. it doesn’t mean you stay in places that aren’t healthy for you.

it means you stop making someone else’s choices your responsibility.

we all have things we need to figure out for ourselves.

things someone could have warned us about, but we weren’t ready to hear. things we only understand once experienced.

other people are no different.

sometimes the best thing to do is pause.

say what you need to say once.

don’t remind them.

don’t use their mistakes against them later.

let them have their dignity. and give yourself dignity too.

because trying to change someone is exhausting. it keeps you focused on their behaviour instead of your own.

you can simply decide what you will and won’t participate in and leave the rest.

that’s not weakness. it’s knowing where your responsibility ends.

sometimes loving someone means helping.

sometimes it means speaking up.

and many times it means stepping back and letting them figure it out.

pause.

not everything is yours to fix.